Instilling Self Confidence in Boys

Despite advances in gender differences, boys are still very much taught that they need to be strong, not show emotions, never be vulnerable, and a host of other behaviors that can make them feel isolated from others. When boys feel they have no outlets and ways to express themselves, they can lose confidence in themselves and have lower self-esteem. This can have detrimental outcomes, as boys seek ways to feel better about themselves. This could be getting involved with others who are not the positive influences desired or acting out in negative ways that lead to them getting in trouble in school or elsewhere. As boys age, their self-confidence tends to improve; however, if they are involved in activities and detrimental behaviors at a young age, this may well carry into the teen years, when the outcomes can be much more serious. What can you do, as a parent or influence, to foster a healthy self-confidence in young boys?

First, be sure that you are available. If boys know they have someone to talk to who will not laugh at them for expressing their feelings and fears, they will be more likely to take advantage of this. Young boys may have friends who they can talk to, but these boys have also been taught or shown that expressing emotions is unmanly, and that fears are something to be laughed at. This can result in devastating feelings of rejection and loss of self worth among peers. Therefore, be sure to provide a safe place and ways for boys to express themselves.

Also show boys that it is okay to express emotions. This does not mean that the men in their lives need to be overly sensitive or constantly crying, but displaying a healthy amount of emotion is a positive thing, both for the adult and for the boys who witness it. Displays of appropriate emotion are important to a boy's sense of self-worth. For example, boys who witness men being stoic and showing little or no emotion during times of high emotional stress may become very confused. A death in the family is one such example. The boy will understandably be feeling sadness, emptiness, and a host of other emotions. However, if he witnesses the adult men in the family appearing unaffected, this can create a lot of confusion. This can also make a young boy doubt his own emotions, which are perfectly natural and normal in such a situation. Yet, from what he witnesses, he may conclude that he is abnormal, which can lead to a loss of self-esteem and confidence.

Help boys find what they're good at and encourage it. Not all boys are going to be fabulous at sports or other traditionally "male" activities, and this is okay. If he is good at sports, that's great. But also encourage boys to try a variety of activities and interests to see which ones fit and which do not. If a boy loves reading, for example, do not chastise him for this. If he is made to feel unworthy for pursuing interests, he can translate this into feeling that he as a person is not important, and this is definitely not something you want to have happen. Particularly for boys, activities and external pursuits are often seen as a direct reflection of who they are as people. Encourage boys to feel good about who they are, not just what they do.

As boys learn healthy ways to express themselves, follow their interests, and have a strong support system, they will be much better able to build a strong foundation for a lifetime of confidence. Making it through the teenage years will be easier (not easy, but easier), as will the transition to adulthood. Start early to help young boys to develop a strong sense of self to help them become positive role models for the next generation.

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How to Imbue Self-Confidence in Children

It is very rightly said that what your child does at 13 very much decides what he will be doing at 30. If he learns to hold his head high no matter what comes, he will certainly sow seeds of happiness, success and prosperity that he can reap when he becomes an adult. It is the duty of every parent to create an atmosphere where a child can learn to be self-confident, responsible and courageous. Believe in the ability of your child, encourage him to take initiative and you will be amazed to see what he can do!

Be self-confident as a parent

Children learn by imitating adults, and as parents are the ones who stay the most with the child, the child gets to become like his parents. A self-confident behaviour on part of the parent unconsciously establishes self-confident nature as a life skill of the child. A child is a great observer. So much so that it has been said that a child is the father of man! Observation makes the first half of learning while doing makes the second half. So if he observes you staying idle, not completing your tasks in time, getting confused at the last hour and the resulting fights and bouts of your temper, he might never know the right way to handle situations. He will also be struggling with devils like procrastination and indiscipline.

Give time to your baby

Spending time with your baby is very important. It may be very tempting to put the baby in a day-care and carry on with your day-to-day activities as a parent. You may have an excuse that, after all, you are working so that you can earn and all your earning is for none other than the child. However, what your child needs is you and your time. His treasures are the games you play with him, the long walks you take him to, the way you help in his studies, and the way you tell him what he means to you. This imbues a sense of security in the child that makes him automatically confident. He knows that he has nothing to worry about. Once your child gets strong and self-confident, he won’t need your money, as he will have the aptitude and strength to go out and earn for himself. As the old proverb goes, give a fish to a man and you take care of him for one day. Teach a man how to fish and you take care of him for a lifetime. That is how it must be!

Be a loveable family

The best thing a man can do for his child is to love his mother. Yes. Nothing works better. Children are the worst sufferers should there be any troubles between you and your spouse. These little souls are too sensitive and your yelling at each other cuts deep in his heart and puts lasting scars. A baby is a gift, the most amazing thing nature can gift you - he is your blood. Make sure you take care of him. Love is the most essential thing of all. In a home where there is love, can happiness and prosperity be far behind?

Have faith in your child

As parents, you may have many concerns about the safety and security of your child, but make sure you don’t overprotect your child. You cannot be everywhere for him and it’s he himself who has to learn to make his mark in this world. Faith is the best encouragement. To be trusted is sometimes an even greater compliment that being loved.

Trust your child and give him small tasks to complete. Nothing is as grand for a child than being given the responsibility to handle a task. He feels honored. His self-worth increases. Guide him to complete task successfully and soon he will have his unique way of doing things. Nature gave him the wings of imagination. Don’t clip them. Encourage him and let him fly.

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Self Confidence in Parenting

There's a reason why so many people say it's the hardest job you'll ever have--raising a child. It's challenging, exciting, nerve-wracking, and one of the most amazing things you'll ever experience. Raising a child will put you through every emotion possible, including self-doubt. Along with the joy of raising a child can come the fear that you're going to do something wrong, create permanent psychological damage, or a whole list of other things that may not go quite right. But relax--keeping a few simple things in mind can help raise your confidence as a parent.

First, know that you will make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. If you keep this in mind, you can take a great deal of pressure off yourself. Do your best, of course, but understand that there will be bumps along the road--possibly quite a few of them. Rather than trying to be a perfect parent, do what you can to prepare for those bumps. Understand where your child is in development and learn what to expect; then expect the unexpected. Also remember that the worst may not happen. Your child may not go through the "terrible twos" or be a reckless teenager. Remember that all children are different. Try not to compare your child or your parenting to others or you may cause yourself unnecessary stress.

Don't believe everything the experts say. Sure, many experts have experience working with hundreds or even thousands of children. Listen to what they have to say, but don't take it as the final say. You know your child better than anyone, and if a piece of advice doesn't seem right for your child, trust your instincts. You're probably right. What may have worked for others may not work for you, and that's okay. Family and friends are also likely to provide you with ample advice, some of which may be useful and some of which may not. Try to avoid the temptation of giving in to pressure from others if you feel that it is not right for your family situation. This can be difficult, particularly in close relationships. But establishing those boundaries because you know what's best for your child will help increase your confidence simply by knowing that you can determine what's best for you and stand up for it.

Spend time with your child. This may sound like old advice, but more and more studies show that children whose parents show an interest in them are better equipped to deal with some of life's challenges. This also helps you know your child better, which will in turn help you make better choices. It works well for everyone involved.

Seek help when you need it. This may sound contradictory to the earlier statements, but it's actually not. When you know your child and his or her needs well, you have a much better understanding of what advice to accept and what to reject. If you are dealing with a difficult or serious situation, and feel that it is out of your control, it's time to seek outside help. This does not mean you are a failure. Rather, it shows that you are confident enough in yourself and your parenting to recognize that you may not have all the answers. Certain situations, such as out of control behavior or drug abuse require outside intervention. It's okay to ask for help when you need it, so don't put yourself down if this is the case.

Finally, remember that you are doing the best you can at any given moment. Life doesn't go smoothly all the time, and this is often most obvious in parenting. It's okay to make mistakes and even admit them. And when your children see you do this, you'll show them that a confident person is not perfect and that everyone makes mistakes from time to time. This in turn will help your children feel more confident when they make mistakes, too.

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Self Confidence Counseling

To lose your self confidence is to lose your very fiber of trust in yourself. Instead of a person able to freely make sound judgment calls and possesses excellent decision making skills, individuals that lack self confidence are constantly second guessing themselves and often unable to make even the simplest decision without gnawing worry and concern. If you have found yourself to be slipping into the pit of low self confidence, do not worry, there is hope! Instead of berating yourself over poor actions that occurred in the past, change your future. Seek out counseling that will enable you to rebuild and maintain your self confidence at unparalleled levels.

The first step to self confidence counseling is making the commitment to seek out and attend these helpful sessions. Whether private or in a group setting, this counseling can be the spark that changes your life. You may enter the sessions as a self doubting, passive individual, but you will leave full of hope and optimism with the ability to totally trust your own actions and judgments. Before you enter counseling, consider any potential obstacles in your current life. Perhaps your spouse, family member, friend, or co-worker has lowered your self confidence and may be detrimental to your counseling. Perhaps you have experienced low self confidence since childhood and need to break the cycle imposed upon you by your parents or guardians. Maybe you are in a difficult situation at your job, with employees, bosses, or colleagues constantly tearing away at your self confidence. Whatever the case, you should be prepared to make the commitment to begin a new way of life in order to rebuild your self confidence. Even the smallest changes will help you in this process. Being in the right frame of mind before you begin will assist you to your goal in a quicker, more positive manner.

Once you have determined to seek counseling, begin researching viable options. The World Wide Web is a great source of information on counseling spots in your city or town. If you feel entering counseling will be too overwhelming for you or your schedule does not allow it, the Internet is also a great tool that enables you to virtually meet and discuss with individuals from all over the world. There are many websites, forums, and chat rooms devoted to individuals working to rebuild their self confidence. You can join these sites anonymously if you are worried about others finding out your private information, but still have the capability to begin some type of counseling. Many individuals have a strong, confidence façade, but lack the same components on the inside. If you find yourself in this situation and do not want the world to know you have a problem with your self confidence, this method of virtual counseling is perfect for you.

Traditional counseling tends to be the most effective method of rebuilding your dwindling self confidence. Universities, hospitals, churches, civic groups, and even local organizations offer counseling of one sort of another. You may be interested in joining a support group in order to interact with others that share your feelings of doubt and distrust. Many individuals find themselves too shy or ashamed for one reason or another to join a support group, or any other type of group counseling, immediately. If you find yourself in this boat, consider private counseling first, then graduating on to group counseling. If money is a concern, it should be known that group counseling is usually a great deal cheaper—if not free—than private, one-on-one counseling.

What ever form of counseling you decide upon, enter into it with seriousness and determination. If you maintain a positive attitude and strive towards achieving your goals, your self confidence is guaranteed to drastically improve. Read More...

Self Confidence versus Arrogance

Self confidence is the ability to trust your own decisions and instincts. People that posses a great amount of self confidence are often successful, focused, and flexible individuals who can handle any situation life may throw at them. A self confident individual know he or she has the potential to take on the world and come out on top. Those that surround a self confident individual are made aware of his or her nature by his or her actions. People that are self confident prove so by their actions, not their words. If you find yourself constantly trying to impress friends, family, coworkers, or superiors by stating your self confidence, you have clearly crossed the line into arrogance. The difference between these two attributes is tremendous, but the line regarding the actions and attitudes of these attributes is not clearly defined. Quite often, individuals who are remarkably self-confident cross the line into clear arrogance without their knowledge.

If your family, friends, coworkers, or superiors see you as arrogant, all the positive attributes of your self confidence has been thrown out the window. Instead of trying to impress individuals through your words, impress them through your actions. The old adage, “actions speak louder than words” is quite evident in this case and should be taken literally. Who are you more likely to trust, an individual who makes outrageous claims and boasts or an individual who can prove he or she can successfully execute the task at hand? Which one of these individuals seems more trustworthy and will be valued higher because he or she is able to get the job done without feeling the need to boast or brag about a completed project or a new conquest. If you are unsure - whether you come across as a self confident individual or an arrogant fool who makes lofty claims but cannot produce the end product - ask your friends, coworkers, or family members. Carefully select your audience as choosing some individuals, a parent perhaps, will skew the results of your survey.

If you find that you come across as arrogant instead of polished and self confident, rethink your method of approach. Instead of boasting or bragging about your personal victories, find a way to spotlight someone else’s work. Take on a task that requires group input and begin working as a full-fledged team member. Carefully think about your statements when speaking with a friend, family member, or colleague and do not bombard them with negative comments or critiques and speaks highly of yourself.

Begin the process of transforming your arrogance into self confidence. Think of self confidence as knowing you can complete a goal and arrogance as telling everyone you will be able to complete said goal in a taunting or boastful manner. Begin reshaping your arrogance into self confidence by electing to take on tasks or goals that you have not successfully completed before. Instead of easily tackling the same project, branch out and try something unrelated. True self confidence will allow you to begin and finish this project without worrying about your abilities in any area. Spend more time on accomplishing goals than boasting about your successes.

Once you have successfully made the transformation from arrogant to self confident, you can have the opportunity to live your life in a new fashion. If your arrogant ways has insulted or belittled individuals in the past, strive to make amends of the situation. Turn over a new leaf and work to remain self confident without crossing over the boundary into arrogance again. You will soon find possessing an attribute like self confidence will get you far in the quest to complete your goals. Read More...

Dating with Confidence

Dating can be a nerve-wracking experience for many people. After all, you could be meeting your future spouse. It can also be a very vulnerable experience. The whole point of dating (usually) is to get to know someone else on an intimate level, or at least beginning this process. For whatever reason, and there are many, most people want to make a good first impression. At the very least, most people want to avoid rejection. Dating is a prime opportunity for this by its very nature. Whether you're looking for a fun night out or a long term development, rejection can occur either way, and it can be difficult to deal with. Self-doubt can come in many forms, from questioning one's intelligence to one's looks to one's ability to tell a good joke. Dating puts it all out there.

How can you increase your confidence when it comes to dating? There are a few things you can do, and certain methods are more appropriate for some people than others.

First Things First. A date is just a date. It is not the rest of your life. Yes, you may meet your future spouse, but this is far beyond the scope of the date. At this point, no matter how desperate you may be feeling to finally settle down, focus only on the date. Putting more pressure on it makes it harder for both of you. The other person is likely to sense your "desperation" (for lack of a better word), and you end up putting way to much pressure on yourself. Instead, try focusing on the date itself, not where it may or may not lead. Enjoy the time together, or, if you don't, try to avoid blaming yourself and going into the litany of self-talk that tries to convince you that you're not worth dating, you'll never find someone, and that you'll be single for the rest of your life.

Be Yourself. Yes, you've heard it many times before. And there's a reason for it. If you do hit it off with the other person, it's best if this happens when you're being true to yourself. If you're "faking" it, you're then faced with coming forward and facing humiliation, rejection, or both, or continuing the facade. This takes a lot of effort, it's dishonest, and you can't keep it up for very long anyway. So whatever your faults, try not to hide them too much. This doesn't mean that you put them all out on the table on the first date, but it also means that you don't go to extreme measures trying to hide them or pretending to be something or someone you're not.
Get Out of Yourself. To help deal with your insecurities about yourself, try focusing on the other person. Show a genuine interest in what he or she has to say. Be honest and courteous in your responses. Let the other person have the spotlight. Not only does this help keep you from focusing on your insecurities, it also helps accomplish what dates are meant to do--get to know someone else better. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask more. Talk about common interests when you find them. Above all, try to avoid talking about yourself the whole time or worrying too much about how you look, what you're saying, and what type of impression you're making.

Try Something Different. If the idea of sitting through a quiet dinner with someone you barely know makes you break out into a sweat, consider dating activities that involve a bit more involvement. Take a tour through a garden, go rollerblading, or do some other activity that keeps you moving. If you have something to do, you can focus less on feeling awkward and more on the conversation. It helps keep the atmosphere lighter as well, which can make you both feel more comfortable and confident.

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Socializing with Confidence

One of the most nerve-wracking situations for many people is attending social events, particularly those where you don't know anyone else. If you're like many people, you have visions of yourself standing alone, looking awkward, sweating, and sneaking out the side door early. Socializing is difficult for many people. Why? For one, it's a perfect opportunity for rejection. After all, if you say or do something stupid, it's very easy for the other person to move on to someone else if they find your conversation dull. Or another scenario is one where you're stuck at a table with a bunch of other people you don't know, and you envision yourself staring at your plate all through the meal, completely at a loss of words.

These fears are very common and normal. That's good. It means that, if you feel this way, you're not alone. It also means that when you're feeling awkward in a social situation, others are as well. Even some people who appear to be completely at ease may have a jumble of nerves and self-doubt inside. So what's the solution? If you are the person who speaks out first, makes the first move, and begins a conversation, you're taking the pressure off the other person. No longer are you now the one who is awkward at socializing, but you are now someone who is focused on the other people attending.

Changing your frame of mind in this way can be very helpful. It's also more helpful than changing your frame of mind in other ways, such as using alcohol or other medications (unless you've had a thorough check-up with a doctor who has prescribed anti-anxiety medications). It's true that alcohol can put you at ease and make starting a conversation much easier. The problem is that it also makes it much easier to take another drink, and another, and before you know it (or don't), you really are saying or doing something stupid. Unless you are absolutely confident (no pun intended) in your ability to control your drinking, avoid using this method as a solution to your social fears.

After you have reminded yourself that many other people there are feeling just as nervous as you are, try striking up a conversation. This is easier than it may seem--or at least, it does become easier with practice. One of the best ways to start a conversation is to ask questions. Then keep asking them. People like to talk about themselves, and it's also a subject that we all know well--so this avoids awkward moments trying to discuss the latest political issue or historical fact that someone may not be "up" on for whatever reason (life can get in the way sometimes). The key to making this work, however, is to actually be interested in what the other person has to say. If you're constantly looking around, interrupting, or giving other signs that you're not interested, you'll quickly offend the other person, who may well walk away. Then you will find yourself in the situation you're trying to avoid.

When possible, take a buddy with you. Just be sure that you don't hide in the corner only talking to each other. Instead, use the "buddy system" to meet new people together. It's always easier when you have someone on your side. Simply knowing that at least one other person there likes you and is rooting for you can give you an instant confidence booster as you reach out to new people. Using the buddy method is also a great way to practice before you have to strike out on your own, which is likely to happen at least once in your lifetime. Feeling prepared will make you feel much more confident when you do find yourself in this scenario.

Forcing yourself to learn new social skills is scary. You are taking a risk. However, once you make the effort, even if it doesn't go as well as you'd hoped, you can feel better about yourself knowing you made the effort. Next time, it will go better. Give yourself credit for trying.

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Building Your Self-Confidence at Work

Many people wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they're looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with coworkers, and handling tough situations. If you're one of these people, you're not alone. What can you do to feel more self-assured about your job?

First, remember that you are not your job. That is, if you make a mistake at work, this does not mean that you are stupid, worthless, or that you're in the wrong position. It's all too easy to take mistakes personally, seeing them as a reflection of your true person rather than for what it is: a mistake. Even though it may not always appear so, everyone makes mistakes from time to time. The best way to deal with a mistake is to own up to it right away and present a solution. This shows that you are honest, and by presenting ways to fix the problem, your boss can send you on your way to deal with the issue. Acting honestly and straightforwardly is best for you--you'll feel better about yourself--and best for the company (which again will help you feel better).

Another common issue is feeling insecure when it comes to coworkers. Many people feel that they do not fit in, are unsure how to handle conflict, or have an overbearing coworker or boss that they don't know how to communicate with. Any of these feelings can wear at your self-esteem. You may feel you have nothing to offer the group, whether socially or on projects, you avoid conflict, and may allow others to step on you. If socialization is a problem, it will require you to step out of your comfort zone a bit. This does not mean you need to jump right in with a large company gathering; rather, take it slow by opening conversations with one or two coworkers. Chances are you'll have something in common. Asking questions about the other person is always a great way to go; just avoid questions with simple yes or no answers.

When dealing with conflict resolution and difficult employees, learning some proven communication techniques may be necessary. Consider attending a course on conflict resolution and dealing with difficult people. In the meantime, remember that the overbearing person likely has a lot of insecurities as well, and these are what cause the behavior. In the midst of conflict, do your best to avoid being pulled into argumentative situations. Don't reward the other person's behavior by getting upset or immediately backing down. If necessary, say you'll continue the conversation when everyone has had a chance to cool down. Dealing with negative coworkers is never fun. Try and remember that your self worth is not dependent on the coworker's approval, even if that person is your boss.

It could be you're feeling unsure about your skills. This one is pretty easy--learn more! Many companies offer continuing education options, will pay for schooling, or offer professional development in house. Whatever your employer offers, take advantage. If your company does not have this option, find some good books on the subject. Ask your colleagues for suggestions, or if you're a member of any type of professional group, seek advice there as well. Many of your peers will have good suggestions on what's worth looking into.

Finally, give yourself some challenges. One great way to build your self confidence at work is to take on a special project or extra work. If you choose something you feel passionate about or something in your specialty area, you can show yourself and your colleagues that you are able to produce results. Even if you fail, you're showing initiative and willingness by taking on special projects. Knowing that you put yourself out there, rather than sitting on the sidelines, can be a great confidence booster. And the same can be said for when it goes well.

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Self Confidence: Key to Interview Success

Searching for employment is one of the stressful times in anyone’s life. The process of preparing a resume, finding the perfect job, and completing an interview may send even the soundest individual into a panic attack. Whereas a resume presents your abilities and experiences on paper, an interview represents you in the first person. The pressure to present yourself in the best light possible in a short, controlled environment is exceptional, so it is key to keep an air of self confidence during this time. Although there is a fine line between self confidence and arrogance, a prospective employee that enters an interview poised and put together already has an edge on the competition.

Dressing for success is not just a time worn cliché. Individuals who show up to an interview in a thoughtful, put-together outfit will best convey the immediate sense of self confidence. When choosing an interview outfit, carefully consider both the employer and the job opportunity. Match your clothing to the mood of the office is a must. If you are interviewing for a position in a conservative law firm, consider conservative attire. However, if you are interviewing at an up-start internet company, you may want to rethink conservative attire. Regardless of the individual items you choose to wear, ensuring they are clean, smartly pressed, and well tailored will make all the difference.

In addition to your dress, you should ensure your personal appearance reflects that of a potential employee. For those individuals with physical forms of self-expression, i.e. piercing, tattoos, or extreme dyed hair, you may find interviewers have difficulty getting past your initial appearance. Before you begin the interview process, take time to review the company’s specific rules regarding appearance. Ensuring your presence is neat will lend to your air of self confidence and appeal to your prospective employer. Take time to evaluate your appearance. Do you need a haircut? Are your nails neatly trimmed and clean? Make all necessary appointments a day or two before your interview.

Of course a potential employer is not just looking for an individual with a put-together outfit and a clean, neatly appearance. Employers are looking for individuals who have the capacity to successfully complete the job at hand. Whatever the job, affiliate yourself with the requirements necessary to fulfill the task. You will soon find that when you are confident in the task, you will exude self confidence and positively influence the interview. Create a list of potential questions an employer may ask in an interview setting. These questions can relate to your educational background, previous work experience, or your capability to handle the specific job. Once you have created this list, prepare your responses to these questions. Ask a friend or family member to pose as a mock interviewer in order to better prepare you for the actual interview.


Your actions during the interview can also affect the overall outcome. Individuals who possess a great deal of self confidence walk with their head held high, make eye contact, and have firm handshakes. Self confident individuals do not fidget, pull on their clothing, or make movements with their feet. Furthermore, you should take care to speak of your positive attributes and not focus on your negatives or weaknesses. Be careful not to brag or boast about your current position, educational background, social status, or work experiences. Again, there is a fine line between self confidence and arrogance, and few employers wish to add an arrogant individual to a team of employees. Instead, focus on how your positive aspects can best benefit the job, team, and company. However you choose to tackle your job interview, remember to bring your best attitude and self confidence. Read More...

Public Speaking with Self Confidence

Public speaking can be a rewarding experience that allows individuals to showcase their skills or knowledge in a public forum. Public speaking opportunities can allow an individual to help enrich the lives of anyone in the audience by impressing experiences or information that can have life changing qualities. That being said, many individuals suffer extreme shyness or nervousness when faced with public speaking situations. These situations can range from large audiences of hundreds or thousands of participants to rooms with a few people present. Regardless of the situation, ensuring you have the proper level of public speaking self confidence will aid you remarkably in this foray.

When it comes to public speaking, possessing self confidence is a must. If you find your self confidence low or nonexistent, the best way to boost it up is to practice, practice, and practice. Individuals with high self confidence have an ingrained sense that they can handle any and all situations, regardless who is watching or listening. These individuals are well versed in their specific subject matter and have a good idea of how they are going to present the information so that the audience will have the greatest understanding. Additionally, these individuals are capable of fielding questions on their particular subject and can explain the topic on several different levels. If you find yourself unable to do this, begin preparing for your public speaking opportunity at once. Ensure your knowledge in the topic is high and seek out to learn as much as you can. This knowledge will help you indefinitely in both planning your speech and delivering the speech to an audience of individuals who may or may not be familiar with it. Furthermore, in depth knowledge of your subject will aid you immensely when dealing with question and answer sessions that most likely will follow any public speaking opportunity. If necessary, ask other individuals about your topic and be able to explain the topic to individuals of all levels.

When writing your speech, take care to analyze your audience. If you are speaking to individuals who have a great understanding of the topic, you can clearly use a more in depth approach, more acronyms, and more jargon than if speaking to an audience unfamiliar with the subject. Furthermore, know the average age and educational extent of your audience in order to create a speech that will speak directly to these individuals. After you have written your speech, being making notes and prompts to that use can use when giving your speech in public. Knowing your speech is written to the best of your ability will boost your self confidence, as will having the necessary notes and prompts that you can rely on while giving your speech.

When preparing for your speech, take care to not memorize the content. This may seem like a good idea, but can lead to disastrous results. If you find yourself to be nervous before you present any project or speech to a public audience, you might forget the content of your speech and be forced to pull it together from memory. Additionally, if you leave out a specific idea or topic from your speech, your audience may not clearly understand the topic of point of your presentation. The best way to prepare for your speech is to make notes that allow cues or special points you should make in your speech. Have a general idea of what you plan to say and ensure the content covers these points. Also, have any visual materials carefully arranged in the order of presentation so that you will remember to include all items seamlessly in your presentation. Public speaking should not produce a crisis, and ensuring your self confidence is high in yourself and your capabilities will make all the difference in the quality of your presentation. Read More...

How to Communicate Confidently

One thing common to all great communicators is that when they speak, everybody listens. However, communicating to people is one of the greatest fears for most of human beings, and especially when it comes to public speaking. Most people dread public speaking more than death! Do you ever wonder why you don’t seem to get listened to by others even though you too have many ideas to share? Then read on, this article is just for you.

Confident communication however, is more than what you speak. It takes into account your body language as well. What’s inside the mind of a successful communicator?

Confident communicators aren’t a know all

Of course, you need to have good knowledge about the subject you are talking about, but what actually matters is not what you say, but how you say it. Successful people don’t do different things, they do things differently. The first step is to believe in what you say. You must be fully convinced in the idea and only then will there be conviction in the tone of your voice. Your voice now is equipped with the power to hold people’s attention. Once you have conviction in your voice, and what you speak is useful for the other people and it actually helps them or gives some credible information, you get appreciation. This certainly peps up your self-confidence!

Confident communicators don’t let people make them nervous

Most people suffer from fearing catastrophes that never happen. Most people tend to make a very high imaginary impression of other people in their minds. So much so that their mind starts believing that other people are perfect. This creates an unfair comparison between their own personality and the imaginary personality of other people that they create. This thinking breeds a fear of meeting and talking to other people. It lowers their confidence and they fear what it will be to meet and talk to these “perfect” people. However, in real life, nobody is perfect and you must realize this. Everybody has their own set of faults and weaknesses. It’s important for you to realize that every human being is essentially imperfect. This will give you greater confidence to go out and face people.

Take it or leave it. You snooze, you lose

Ideally, you must be the best of your moods and carry a pleasant demeanor when you go out and meet people. However, it might not always be possible and it may so happen that you are not fully prepared to communicate, or you are a little tense over some other matter. A confident communicator, though, develops an ability to keep control of his emotions. This quality helps the communicator to keep control of the situation. You may still not be in a good mood but you must make sure that you keep indecisiveness at bay. Your indecision will fritter away your focus and energy and you fail to make any impact. If you decide to communicate, be yourself, have faith in yourself and go ahead.

Mind your body language

Your gesture, postures and eye contact probably talk louder than your words. Body language cuts across all barriers of communication such as language, time, place, knowledge and so on. Your body language starts getting interpreted unconsciously by everyone around. People start forming impressions about you the moment you make an eye contact and body language certainly contributes a considerably large part of the impression you make.

A few facts you must know;

• You may have a sad expression on your face because of some other matter, but the person you are talking to may feel that you don’t approve what he says, leading to misunderstanding.

• A steady gaze may convey intensity, anger, aggression or strong interest. Little eye contact may imply lack of confidence or shyness.

• Open hands may convey honesty and openness; however, making a lot of hand gestures might mean that you are being nervous.

Confident communication, including words and gestures, is something that you do not perfect in a day. You must grab every opportunity to communicate. Try to check your communication skills, your strong points and the mistakes you make along with the overall affect on the other person. Try to learn from your experiences and there is no reason why you can’t make it. Get going. Good luck! Read More...

Promise Yourself to be Self-Confident

Imagine a situation wherein you have all the comforts a person can ask for. You have a beautiful apartment equipped with all the equipments of modern living. You have a modular kitchen with the latest design in the town, a state of art air conditioning system which cools your home within seconds, a hi-fidelity home theatre system to take you to a melodious journey after a hard day, a plasma T.V to get the joy of a big picture, a fully automated laundry system with intelligent sensors, a Video Audio integrated computer system which organizes everything from your data to family albums in a jiffy, latest soft lighting for your bedroom and much more – but you don’t have electricity. Yes, you read it right your apartment does not have any provision for electricity. Would you now want to live in it?

Just as the absence of electricity reduced the ultra modern apartment to a thing we better not talk about, absence of self-confidence can also do something like this to a seemingly healthy person. What is a house without electric power, and what is a human being without self-confidence. Without self-confidence even the best of people can be like sophisticated airplanes waiting for the take off. Without confidence you’ll probably never take off. Do you feel like in a similar situation? Do you feel that even after having all the qualities and skills are still aren’t successful? Ask yourself – Is it lack of confidence?

Realize your worth – It helps you become confident!

It is important to realize that there is no one quite like you in the entire universe. In a human reproduction system, a million sperms are released out of which nature chooses the fittest to reach the egg to form the embryo. So isn’t it a reason enough to believe that you are one in a million and nature had worked so hard for you, the fittest, to see the world? How can you then not feel confident? You are the chosen one and it’s your duty to live up to the expectations of Mother Nature. It’s your duty to yourself and your soul to be confident. How else do you expect the qualities in you to come to forefront? Nature made you for a purpose, and how can you sit hopeless and betray Mother Nature by not doing what you were appointed to do. How can you be forgetful of your great self within? Yes, you are the part of that superior soul and there is enough light within you to see the path ahead. How can you afford to be not confident? So arise and speak loud to yourself “I am the chosen one! I have the power to transform my life! I have lots of work to do and I need all my inherent qualities. I HAVE to be confident. I MUST be confident”.


Take a Decision

The hardest times are the times of indecision. Decision makes things easier. It pushes the uncertainty away and gives you a purpose to focus. It makes you think. Once you have decided to be confident, you are no longer waiting for some miracle to happen. You have taken a decision. You have control on your life now. You have decided not to waste your life anymore. You have decided to be confident. You have decided to take on this world head on!

This decision makes your life easier. It makes you feel lighter. You have a purpose and you got to focus on that purpose. Your mind is most powerful when its focussed. You can feel the difference. A focus mind changes your body language. Your steps are solid, your handshake is firm, your eyes right ahead. You become a changed person - A person who has the ability to achieve goals, the ability to be happy about his achievement, the ability to love to his family, the ability to stand in the crowd without any stress, the ability to take risks, the ability to realize his dream. Won’t you rather be like this person? Go ahead, you can do it.

Your time starts now!

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Think Positive about Your Self Confidence!

A person’s self confidence is their ability to believe in themselves. People with a high self confidence are optimistic, assertive, and eager individuals ready to take on the world and conquer the goals. On the other hand, people with a low self confidence find themselves often distant and despondent, constantly questioning themselves and often passive or submissive. Self confidence is the key to succeeding in your academic pursuits, athletic activities, employment field, and private life. Individuals that entertain a high sense of self confidence usually go on to phenomenally succeed, whereas individuals with a low sense of self confidence tend to be brought down by their inner demons and fail.

The trap of low self confidence is extremely easy to fall into and extremely difficult to remove yourself. That tiny voice in the back of your head that criticizes, questions, and insults can easily grow louder and louder the more you listen. Instead of traditional angel on one should and devil on the other, someone with low self confidence finds the devil there more often than not. Instead of boosting themselves up by enjoying their accomplishments or congratulating themselves on a job well done, individuals with low self esteem find their shoulder devil is constantly picking and finding fault in the midst of triumph.

The key to maintaining a high self esteem is positive thinking. Individuals that think of themselves in a positive light are more likely to have a higher self confidence than those nay-sayers in the crowd. One way to remain positive and keep and upbeat aura is to surround yourself with positive people. Avoid individuals who criticize, nit pick, and put down. These negative individuals are a sinking ship and will only bring you down with them. By surrounding yourself with positive people, you will find it easier to maintain your high sense of a self worth and banish that devil from your shoulder. If you find yourself in a situation where you must deal with individuals with a negative outlook, confront them on the matter. Often, office gossip, school yard taunts, or home issues bury themselves deep within our minds and wreck havoc on our self confidence. Instead of allowing yourself to be burdened by these harmful words and thoughts, fight back! Refuse to stoop to their level, but insist the back biting and drama cease with the negative words. This task is certain to be difficult and the easiest thing to do is to walk away and let yourself moon over the hurtful words and thoughts, but the right thing to do is to attempt to put a stop to the situation. If the individuals refuse to cease, continue, or even worsen their actions, then break apart from the trend. Unfortunately, this may mean ending relationships, both personal and job related.


If you find yourself surrounded by so-called friends who constantly make you feel poorly about yourself and lower your self confidence, it might be time to part ways. Remember, friends, family, and loved ones are supposed to make you feel good about yourself and have your best interest at heart. This is not always the case and friends by title alone can do more harm than most enemies. Furthermore, personal relationships can have the same—if not worse—affect on one’s self confidence level. Quite often, individuals in abusive relationships find themselves despondent and upset about their situation. If a loved one is making you feel poorly about yourself by constant criticism, abusive language, and distrusting actions, drastic circumstances may be due. Make the case for a change in the relationship and make your loved one understand what his or her words, thoughts, or actions do to your self confidence. If this fails, you may need to make a painful break, but remember, your loved ones are supposed to love and support you at all times. If someone is failing to do so, they have not fulfilled their role in you life.

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How to Regain Your Lost Self-Confidence

Nobody can hurt you without your consent.

There are many instances in life where your confidence is hit hard. Sometimes you overcome life’s hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but sometimes your self-confidence gets a beating. However, the point here to remember is that “Nobody can hurt you without your consent.” The problem is not as important as the impact it had on you, rather the impact that YOU let the problem create on you. In life, pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, as the saying goes. It’s purely your choice. Whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative.

There can be many reasons that your self-confidence is hurt. You may have had a bad marriage and now are heading for a divorce. You were not chosen for your college’s football team; you may have been laid off. There’s definitely a lot of pain involved in any of the situations. But you don’t necessarily have to suffer. You must arise and resolve to get back your confidence.

The following ways would help you do just that;

Look at the brighter side

If you have been laid off, it would be okay to feel bad about it for a day or two but not more than that. Losing a job is a terrible thing, but it does not mean the end of the world. Who knows it might be a blessing in disguise. Maybe you have got some time to review your life, get aware of where you are going, have a look at your likes and hobbies which you could not develop because of pressures of your job. Maybe this is an opportunity to start afresh and live your life a new way which is more in sync with your abilities and aptitude. Similarly, a divorce may cause great pain but then you weren’t too happy in your marriage either. It probably was just not meant to be. Now you have a chance to rebuild your life the way you want it to be.

Stop comparing yourself with other people

When we have a problem we always question God – “Oh, God, why me?” Certainly God gave you a lot of rewards as well. Did you then get up and ask God –“Oh God, why me?” That’s what human nature is all about. We complain and remember God when we are in trouble or else we are too busy with ourselves. Stop looking at other people who seem too happy and comfortable to you from a distance. Stop comparing their comfort with your suffering. This will only frustrate you further. Focus on yourself and make every effort you can make to go out whenever you are feeling down.

Self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives. Instead of indulging in self-pity (though we all do from time to time), take control of your life and take responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and make a fresh start. And yeah…don’t be bogged down when you hear a “NO”. A “NO” is something which even greats like Edison and Ford, too, had to face. If you look at them positively, you will find that each “NO” actually takes you closer to a “YES.” It’s been reported time and time again that Edison conducted more than a thousand failed experiments before he actually made an electric bulb! So get going and take an occasional “no” in stride.

Are you standing in your own way?

You will notice that shadows are caused when we stand in the path of sunshine. In our lives, too, we cause a lot of shadows by standing in the way of our own happiness. In today’s world, it is important to be flexible. A lot of people will look for a job for months, yet still reject work coming their way because they are not willing to adapt to some new job requirements. Jane, a schoolteacher, was laid off from her job. She kept trying for months to get a job as a teacher while rejecting opportunities such as taking private tuitions, being a nanny, doing copy-editing work as a freelancer. The long wait hurt her self-confidence even more. Sometimes it is wise to be a little flexible and adapt ourselves to new job demands rather than to look exactly for what we lost. It helps regain confidence quickly which brings along enough energy to get an even better job in the field of your choice!

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How to Overcome a Confidence Crisis

A confidence crisis is triggered by setbacks like losing an important business order, break-up of a valued relationship or losing a job. When this happens, even a small thing can send you over the edge, creating an unwanted crisis. To protect yourself from such a situation, you need to take control of yourself, and your life.

You must learn to ignore external stimuli. Don’t be affected by what people say or are likely to say about you. More important, you should not be worried about failure. Believe in the old adage that you cannot win always. There are bound to be failures, and setbacks in life, despite your best efforts. Take them in your stride. If need be, sleep over your failures. You will wake up feeling good, and confident. Don’t hesitate to let others know that you can handle your affairs. This will build your self-confidence.

Maintain a diary, and note down all positive things that happen during the course of the day. You will be surprised to note the number of positive things that are happening around you, which you missed earlier. This will help you think positively, and dispel your doubts. This will also break the stranglehold of negative thoughts that had lowered your self-esteem, and generated doubts about your abilities and skills. Repeat to yourself every day that you are getting better at what you do, and feel the difference.

Take some time to think about your relationships. If a friend is having a bad influence on your self-confidence or if the relationship is more of a burden than a pleasure, you are better off if you stop meeting that person. Instead, try to build new relationships with people you like and admire, and who are supportive of you. Ideally, form a group of supportive friends and give them your support in turn. This will do your self-confidence a world of good.

Stop wasting your energy on things that can go wrong. Think about the worst thing that could possibly happen. You will realize that it is not the end of the world. Focus on the subjects over which you have control and reduce your exposure to events over which you have little or no control. Monitor your internal dialogue, and silence the negative voice that keeps criticizing you.

A useful strategy is to visualize a situation that bothers or worries you. Jot down these points. Think of people who have successfully crossed these hurdles, and ask yourself if they could do it then why can’t I? Think of yourself as someone who is brimming with confidence, and is ready to take up the challenge. Make this a habit. You will find that you too can overcome these obstacles.

Self-confidence is more than a simple state of mind. It also flows from your physical well-being. Regular exercise adds to your energy levels, and makes you feel fitter and confident. Similarly, dressing well adds several notches to your self-confidence. Even simple things like sleeping well will make you feel better. In contrast, drinking to drive away you woes will add to your unhappiness.

You must also learn to speak up. When you hesitate to speak, you are doing yourself a great disfavor. Very often, you become a prisoner of your shyness. You want to speak, but your shyness does not let you do so. This eats into your self-esteem and self-confidence. Don’t allow this situation to continue. Always remember that you may know more than your colleague who is the centre of attention because he has a view on every subject. Others may find your views more interesting, if only they heard them.

Also, don’t think that you can change your fortunes overnight. It takes time to change things. What is needed is your belief in yourself. It is a great help in overcoming any confidence crisis.

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Obstacles in Building Self-Confidence

Know what’s holding you back.

It’s great that you have decided to build your self-confidence. However, there are a few obstacles that can keep you from achieving your goal. Most of the time, these obstacles are so obvious that they do not seem like obstacles at all, and all you can see is that your resolve to be self-confident is not taking you anywhere. Therefore, it is important to become aware of these seemingly harmless obstacles that have all the power to stop you in your path. Let’s have a look at what could be the reasons that you are not moving ahead in top gear.

Are you undisciplined?

Some people simply have the talent to waste a lot of time without realizing it. They lack the self-discipline to stop their actions that waste time. Imagine a situation wherein you have a list of tasks to be completed successfully as a part of your confidence building program. However, the moment you enter your home you involuntarily grab the remote and start channel surfing on the idiot box. It’s only after an hour that you realize that you have been vegetating in front of the TV in the time you had scheduled to do other tasks. You realize that you have already disturbed your schedule. In a self-development program, it’s you and only you who has the power to change yourself. Nobody will come to monitor your actions and progress. You have to keep a watch on your inner graph and see to it that it goes up! Avoid temptations and stick to your schedule.

Are you lazy and keep procrastinating?

Procrastination is one of the greatest and most silent killers of confidence. It does not let you complete your jobs and tasks in time; things keep mounting and finally you get overwhelmed by all the many things that have piled up and need your attention. The very basics of building confidence start with listing little things which are doable. You gain more confidence to take on greater tasks and responsibilities by successfully completing the lighter tasks at hand. However not being prompt and delaying important things till they become urgent makes you miss the opportunity of working on your confidence and puts you in danger of falling back again into your earlier cycle, thereby wasting all the effort and energy you had put in to becoming aware of your low confidence trap and getting out of it.

Does your old self keep pulling you back?

Assume. Assume. Assume is the technique here. Assume that you are a different person with habits you wanted to inculcate. Imagine the way you would like to be. Imagine a self-confident you taking things in your stride. Then try to bring into your daily actions the way you have imagined yourself to be. “I dream by painting. Then I paint my dream” was the technique that the great painter Vincent Van Gogh followed. Your assumed self will make people react to you in a different way, according to your new self. This will establish your new self to the world and will help you keep up the new self before it becomes a habit – a second nature! If you behave indecisively and helplessly, you will invoke proportionate reactions from people around you, thereby reinforcing your previous self. This throws you back again. Remember that you cannot get ahead if you keep looking back. Realize this and stop sliding back.

Don’t copy self-confidence. Do not try to become like someone else.

One of the greatest mistakes that people make when trying to increase their low self-confidence is falling in love with an image of their icon who may be a sport star or a film star or any celebrity and then they try to be like them. This is one of the greatest mistakes that people can commit when trying in increase their self-confidence. You have to be yourself at all costs. Getting inspired is wonderful but merely aping these guys won’t take you anywhere. There is no need for any two people in this universe to be exactly the same. The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else!

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Myths about Self-Confidence

People who have self-confidence believe in themselves and feel that they are capable of achieving what they want in life, or dealing with any situation that they may have to face. They have an aura of self-confidence and self-assurance, which is apparent to others. People like to spend time with them; they feel comfortable and secure in their presence.

In contrast, there are many people who are reasonably talented, but who lack self-confidence. These people are victims of the several myths that surround self-confidence.

One of the foremost myths about self-confidence is that people are born with self-confidence. It is a quality that cannot be acquired. Nothing can be farther from truth. Self-confidence, like other skills, can be built. All that you need is right guidance and a belief in yourself.

There are others who blame their low self-confidence to their lack of good looks and poor upbringing. They don’t realize that self-confidence has nothing to do with their looks. It is a reflection of one’s confidence. The only way they can overcome this myth is by learning to believe in themselves. In fact, talent and self-confidence are not inter-related. There are scores of talented actors and actresses who do very well in their professions but whose personal lives are torn by lack of self-confidence. It may sound contradictory, but this is how life is. Talent can be an important component of self-confidence, but it is certainly not a substitute for self-confidence. So, don’t worry about lack of talent. Harness the skills that you possess.

Another myth is that self-confidence is directly proportional to the recognition and praise that an individual gets in his or her life; the ones who are not so lucky wallow in self-pity. Once again, there is little doubt that recognition and praise make you feel good about yourself, and boost your self-confidence. But you can’t simply depend on the praise lavished by others. You have to work hard to earn that praise, and you can do this only if you are self-confident. The same applies to those who are not successful. They, too, can earn praise if they work hard and win people’s respect.

Such people should look at children. Children believe in themselves, and this gives them the self-confidence to try to do things they have never done before, be it learning how to cycle or how to swim. In fact, no child comes into the world knowing all the skills. But it does not take long to teach children most of the basic skills. Then, why should it be difficult for adults to learn new skills or brave new challenges?

Another myth is that only self-confident people can afford to take risks. This again is not true. In fact, self-confident people are more realistic about their capabilities. They know what they can do, and what they can’t do. More importantly, they know how to deal with failures. In contrast, people who lack self-confidence are afraid of failure. This fear prevents them from taking on new tasks. They constantly pine for the approval of others, and when they don’t get it they end up losing their self-confidence.

What is apparent is the lack of understanding. People must realize that self-confidence is a state of mind. It is not dependent upon a person’s beauty or looks. It flows from a person’s self-belief, and this belief can be built. All that a person needs to do is to debunk myths that self-confidence cannot be acquired or that self-confidence is a byproduct of exceptional knowledge, skills and luck. Once they do so, they will find it easier to acquire the same magnetic powers that self-confident people have.

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Cornerstones of Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is something that all of us need if we have to do well in life. It gives us the courage to face the most difficult of situations, something which cannot be said of people who lack self-confidence. They often break down in front of challenges.

The question, however, is how do you achieve self-confidence? You can do so if you define your tasks, and priorities, correctly. You then need to ask yourself as to how you can accomplish these tasks. A good strategy is to break your goals into smaller tasks. This makes the main task seem less daunting. You then need to pat yourself every time you reach a milestone. This increases your self-confidence, and makes it easy for you to achieve your goals.

You also need to look at the image that you have of yourself. If you don’t have a good image of yourself, and are always running yourself down, then your chances of being successful are minimal. Your self image or what you believe about yourself can be hurt easily if you blame yourself for any setback in your life like a business failure, loss of a job or a divorce. So, avoid self-flagellation. It feeds on your negative thoughts, and can easily become a monster. You need to write off your failures, and plan for new challenges. This is a positive approach to adopt, and can shore up your shaky self-confidence.

Those who are close to you play an important role in shaping your self-confidence. If they happen to critical or negative, they will have a negative impact on your self-confidence. Your priority should be to distance yourself from such people, and find friends and supporters who are imbued with a positive outlook. Without your knowing, they will add to your self-confidence.

Another issue that matters is your reaction to the events in your life. You should consider yourself a unique person who has his own special place in the world. This will lead to a development of positive attitudes, beliefs and values, qualities that can give you the self-confidence to succeed against all odds. However, there is an inherent danger in such a world-view. You may become too over-confident, and stop listening to what the others say. Don’t allow this to happen. Listen to all criticism, filter out the points that can make you a better individual; junk the rest. This constant course correction will make you a better individual.

At the same time, you need to monitor your internal dialogue. You must talk yourself into believing that you can take up any reasonable assignment. This will drive away negative attitudes and beliefs, and add to your self-confidence.

In fact, the picture you have of yourself needs constant monitoring and care. You cannot afford to let it take care of itself. Your self-confidence, happiness and success depend on it. You need to guard against selling yourself short. Don’t underestimate yourself and prevent feelings of inferiority from creeping in. Aim high and feel that you are capable of achieving anything you choose. Write down how you would like to see yourself five or ten years from now.

Make a list of your strong points, the things you do well and the compliments you receive. Write down a few of the things about yourself, which you think need improvement. Think of yourself as a self-confident person and act as if you are very self-confident, even if you don’t feel that way. Try to keep negative attitudes and beliefs away from yourself and maintain a safe distance from negative and destructive people.

If you take responsibility for your life and practice these methods regularly, your self-confidence will rise. What’s more, it will remain high.

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The Importance Of Self Confidence

What is Self Confidence?

To be able to achieve a goal you need skills, discipline, determination, capability and self confidence. Self confidence comes from having the right kind of skills and clarity of goals to be achieved. The clearer the goal, the better is the focus of mind and self confidence. Nothing great was ever achieved by people who lacked confidence. A capable body and mind will not function to their greatest potential if not backed by self confidence. Self confidence, hence, is the pivot on which all the creative and analytical abilities of the mind rest on. Low self confidence can impair the functioning of both the body and mind, resulting in failure. Self confidence is the measure of one’s collective ability to march right ahead to achieve a said goal.

The Visibility Factor

Self confidence has a way of being visible. You can tell by observing the very manner of a person walking, communicating, working, socializing, as to whether he is confident or not. The very first handshake with a person will tell her level of self confidence. A self-confident person truly stands apart. Drooping shoulders, falling jaws, undecided steps are not the characteristics of a confident person. Confidence is infectious; the very presence of a self-confident person tends to charge up the air around him. Everything automatically falls in place for a confident person, and the world stands apart for the man who walks with sure, confident steps. A confident person commands respect as well.

Self Confidence – the basis of all achievement!

Great things are seldom achieved without necessary confidence. All the skills and efforts possible are useless if confidence is lacking. Low confidence halts your steps and you cannot take initiative. Low self confidence paralyzes both the body and mind at the time of making decision. It leaves you undecided and the undecided are swept away. There is no place for the undecided in this world where success is worshipped, and success seldom comes to someone who is undecided. As the old saying goes, you must stand for something or you will fall for anything – and it’s your confidence that holds you together or breaks you apart.

Confidence isn’t genetic nor hereditary. Nobody is born confident. Confidence is acquired. Confidence is learned. Confidence is improved. Confidence is practiced. And confidence can be generated. You need to first realize the importance of confidence before you can make any efforts to get better with it. It’s very much in your hands to develop a self-confident behavior.

Confidence brings out the fighter in you!

It is said that one has to take risks to achieve something. There’s no gain without pain, as we’ve all heard. So what is it that enables one person to go ahead and take risks while another is held back? Yes, it’s the level of confidence that makes people come out and lead from the front without caring for failure. It’s this belief in oneself that differentiates achievement from failure. It’s sometimes the bald guy who takes the girl because he has something more than the handsome guys around – yes, you guessed it right, he oozes self confidence that makes the lady weak in her knees!

Confidence in themselves was behind scores of people who broke the shackles of a well- paying, “secure” job to pursue their dream of creating something, being something and ended up building great businesses. Surely what turned these seemingly ordinary men and women who were stuck in the nine-to-five ordeal into successful entrepreneurs was nothing but a belief in their dreams and immense self-confidence!

Be Confident

In today’s world of competition, confidence isn’t just an asset. It forms the very basis of your survival. Getting a good job means you need to be confident in the interview. Getting a raise, again, needs you to be confident at work. The confident ones are the ones who get attention. Attention brings acceptance and acceptance brings love, peace and energy that make you efficient. Efficiency makes you an achiever and achievement makes you even more confident.

And when you are confident, can happiness and riches be far behind? Make sure that you are never out of this magical spiral. Believe in yourself. Get going! Tell yourself that you have it in you. Because ultimately the one who wins is the one who thinks he can!

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Ten Tips to Increase Your Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is an important key to success in any walk of life. People with self-confidence are noticed more. They achieve their goals relatively easily. In contrast, people who lack self-confidence often end up being losers.

Here are ten tips that can help you build that elusive self-confidence:

1. Self-confidence is found in people who have a healthy self-esteem. They know their personal worth, and act accordingly. A good way to improve your personal worth is to make a list of your accomplishments every day. You will be surprised to know how many positive acts you perform every day in life, but which you don’t notice. Once you start looking at this list, your self-confidence will boom.

2. Be clear about your goals. If need be, break your goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Pat yourself every time you achieve a minor goal. It will boost you’re a self-confidence, and help you achieve bigger goals.

3. Find a mentor who can help you reach your goal. Most people, who have done well in life, have a mentor who has traveled the same road on which they are traveling today. Meet your mentor regularly, and seek his advice and support as a routine. You will find that you are learning something valuable every day.

4. Socialize with people who are positive and supportive, who like and respect you. Give them the same support and respect that they give you. Avoid people who are negative and critical of you. Such people erode your self-confidence. They make you look at your negative self, and not your positive self. After some time, you get enveloped in their cynical and negative world-view. Nothing can be more damaging than that. Dump such friends as soon as you can.

5. Pay attention to how you look. Take pleasure in wearing good clothes and being well groomed. It makes you feel good. People too look at you differently. Remember that every human being wants to be found in the company of smart, intelligent, successful people. You can soon be a centre of attraction if you radiate a positive, smart look. It can very easily make the difference between success and failure.

6. Don’t be afraid of failures. Take them in your stride and move on. Say to yourself that you will succeed the next time. Never make the mistake of allowing your failures to overwhelm you. They will force you into a shell, and destroy your self-confidence. A better way is to shrug your failures as something inconsequential, and take on a new challenge. Of course, you must learn from your mistakes, and be realistic about your abilities. People who try to over-reach often fall down. You should not allow that to happen in the name of self-confidence.

7. Keep yourself fit by exercising regularly and controlling your diet. A fit and healthy person is much more active and achieves more in his career. Physical fitness, like self-confidence, glows on your face.

8. Have a wide range of interests, and take an active interest in what’s going on in the world. Meet and talk to a lot of people. Don’t focus all your attention only on your work and on your problems. Divert your attention to new interests, and new tasks. This will keep your mind happily occupied, and boost your self-confidence.

9. Take part in activities that you are good at. You may have excelled at things in the past and then given them up due to lack of time. Return to those activities again and see your self-confidence grow.

10. Pick up a new hobby or craft that interests you. It will keep you occupied. It will also increase your self-confidence as you become more skilled in it.

Try to practice these tips as faithfully as you can, and see the difference in your life. Read More...

How To Build Your Self Confidence

Learn to accept yourself

The very first step is to accept yourself – lovingly. No person in the world is perfect so why bother and shed tears over your imperfectness. This is how God wanted us to be – Imperfect! We might have something that someone else may lack and someone else might be endowed with the qualities, which we lack. This incompleteness makes us go out and seek companions who make us feel loved, wanted and complete. Oh what a great feeling! Would we experience it if we were inside the cocoon of our perfection? Never! So accept yourself the way you are. It will free your mind of a heavy baggage of unnecessary worries. You will instantly feel light and cheerful.

Liberate yourself - Go out and do what you like!

How long it has been since you last went to have a walk among the pines – something that you loved as a child? How long has it been when you walked hand in hand with your friend to the bakery and tossed a coin to decide what to buy? These might seem very simple things but these simple things have the power to add on to build great confidence and fulfilment. Life if see is actually quite simple. What gets a bit too complex though is to remain simple. Isn’t it? Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the capability to turn you into a storehouse of confidence. When God made you, He put a desire in your heart and bestowed onto you the capability to achieve it. However, in the process of growing up, you forgot what exactly was your purpose, what is that you liked and what is that you enjoyed doing. It does happen with lots and lots of people who do feel like breaking free but are too tied up in their day to day responsibilities that it gets impossible for them to spare even 10 minutes to reflect on their lives, their direction, their dreams and goals. It’s our duty to clear the mess that prevents us from hearing to our heart. The conversations with your heart should keep getting clearer and the best way to do it is to find time to do what you enjoy. And since you enjoy doing that activity, it straightaway means that you have all the aptitude and intelligence necessary to do the job effortlessly even though you may not realize it.

Find your flock

Birds of a feather flock together. You must find out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural. Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you and it’s easier to relate to them. They seem to understand you and vice versa thus creating conditions for healthy conversations. A good conversation is a very healthy exercise and an important need of our mind. We all want our ideas to be heard and appreciated and a good company provides platform for the same.

Set Achievable Goals and Go for it!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. The idea is to begin with a small single step that can then further developed into giant strides. Learn to do the work at hand rather than to overwhelm oneself by looking at the entirety of a mammoth looking task. Just like the soil underneath your foot, the top of mountain too would someday be under your step. The only way to do something is to Go For It! No matter how small the progress is the focus should be on completing a task successfully even though it’s a small task. A series of big uncompleted task is a sure shot way to depression. Break a big task into a list of small tasks to be completed. Tick off from your list each job successfully completed. A completed task no matter how small it is gives a sense of achievement that boosts our confidence and equips us with more energy to try a bigger task.

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The Joy of Self Confidence

Self-confident people stay ahead of deadlines

Self confidence is known to make employees more effective in their jobs. Confident employees are capable of taking up complex tasks that require greater commitment and concentration. Confident executives are filled with hope and enthusiasm and are able to charge up the atmosphere of their workplace thereby inspiring people around them. These executives are a great asset to their employers as they have all that it takes to finish to with perfection the task at hand. Self confident people develop a habit of succeeding in whatever task they put their focus on. These guys surely beat deadlines.

Self confident people remain cheerful

A confident person is able to complete his jobs within the stipulated time and maintains an organized schedule. Staying ahead of deadlines keeps a person in control of the situation and matters at both office and home. A task completed well on time gives a certain joy and lots of time at hand as well. This avoids many tight situations and helps to maintain the calm and poise of a person. Self confidence is the best “face pack” one can have. You can make out a self-confident person with his beaming eyes and a cheerful persona.

Self confident people enjoy better health

Self-confident people are able to deal with chaotic situations with comparatively more calm and poise. They do not get puzzled because they have an inherent belief that they are capable of setting things right and make constructive efforts to solve the problem. This helps them avoid stress, high blood pressure, anger and confusion. Self confident people are, hence, on their way to good health and peaceful life.

Self confident people have more time for their family

A good day at workplace more often than not is quite a big factor as to how a person behaves once he gets back home. A great day at office makes a person cheerful and someone who would like to share happy moments with his family. He will have more time for his family. Spending time with spouse and kids often is a rejuvenating experience and makes him or her look forward for another great day.

Self confident people enjoy stronger relationship bonds

Spending time is the most precious investment one can make in any relationship. These days when divorce is on rise among working couples, confident people take difficulties in their stride. They are better organizers and are able to draw a line between work and family, creating a balance in their work and family lives. They are able to spend quality time with their families. They make sure that the time for the family should remain exclusively for the family and they avoid mixing it with work. Spending more time with children help them grow up with more sense of security and belongingness. These children, thus, have much greater chance to be self-reliant and self-confident when they grow up. Self confident people, by the virtue of their ability to organize things better are able to cement relationships with time and care. Self confident people also have friends and enjoy active social life.

Self confident people make more money

Self confidence helps executives generate a lot of team spirit and to have the ability to take up complex tasks and lead from the front. These qualities certainly bring profits in various ways for the company they work for. They are able to focus at the job at hand and complete it successfully. Self confident people tend to climb the corporate ladder comparatively fast and getter better pay packages!

Self confident people become role models

Self confident people stand a far greater chance of achieving success in life both on their work and personal fronts, than their counterparts. Self-confident people develop a certain charisma around them which makes people look up to them. They believe in themselves and develop the courage to take on bigger problems and provide solutions. Self-confident people rise to enviable positions and act as a source of inspiration for learners and beginners. Self-confident people have more capability to become an asset to the company they work for and the nation they live in. People take pride in knowing and following them, and they often become role models as an employee of his company or as a father of his kid!

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Check Your Confidence Levels 2

If you are still unaware of your confidence level after this, here are some more questions you may answer.

1. Have you accomplished anything in the past?
2. Are you the one to go ahead and break the ice at a new place or wait for someone else to initiate a discussion?
3. Do you feel you are well respected by others?
4. Do you think you have the potential to succeed?
5. Are you a happy and loving person?
6. Are you satisfied with your career graph?
7. Are you satisfied with your skills and qualifications?
8. Do you feel in control of your life?
9. Do you imagine yourself to be more successful five years from now?
10. Do you feel that you are a worthwhile person?

If you happen to answer most of these questions with a NO, you have LOW self-confidence levels.

However, a YES is never decisive and a NO is never final. One needs to constantly maintain the good points and work towards converting bad points into good points. And the good news is that it is very much possible.

It’s important that you honestly answer the questions above, since only when you realize the present status of your self-confidence would you be working towards building self-confidence or maintaining and increasing your present levels.

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Check Your Confidence Levels 1

Self Confidence might mean different things to different people groups. For a child it might mean to be able to recite the poem to her teacher the next morning. For a business executive it might mean to be able to present the business report to the Board of Directors. For a salaried person it may be the ability to be able to make a switch over from his secure job to a new independent venture and so on.

How confident are you? Find out by answering the succeeding questionnaire.

1. Does it happen too often with you that you cannot take a decision all by yourself and you seem to look for your colleagues, friends, or your spouse to sort the matter for you?
2. Do you always seem to be in perpetual need of a support system wherein you can feel secure?
3. Do you just sit and listen all the times in your office meetings?
4. Do you feel difficulty in reporting a matter to your boss or you have an excellent idea that can improve your company’s efficiency but you cannot muster enough courage to go and talk about it to your Boss?
5. Are you terrified to meet someone new? Is public speaking your worst nightmare?
6. Do you timidly accept orders from your superior even though you know that you are already overloaded and you need to say no?
7. Are you excessively concerned about what other people think of you?
8. Do you fear taking risks?
9. Do you feel dissatisfied about your appearance?
10. Are you uncomfortable in social gatherings – being amongst lots of people?

If you happen to answer these questions with a Yes, you seem to have a confidence crisis that might become an obstacle in successfully executing your tasks. Don’t Panic! It is good that you found out. Now you are aware of a potential problem of your life. The very fact that you are aware of your confidence rating makes you ready to take further action and work towards eliminating the negative effects of low confidence levels and work towards building your self confidence.

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